Truthfully, I am absolutely terrified of going. I keep telling myself that hey, I navigated Italy for Chrissakes, I can navigate a country that speaks the same language as me.
Me, navigating Italy successfully
But when I went to Italy, I had people I knew with me. This whole being alone thing is very, very new. New but, I feel, necessary. If I want to grow up, I have to do things like this; go places I don't know with people I don't know and carve out a little space for me. London wasn't my first choice for study abroad (I would have killed to go to Italy; one day, maybe) but being unable to speak any other languages, it was kind of my only option.
Well, I'm going now, I can't do much to change it. Not that I would, because I reeeeeeeeally want to go. I adapt much better to new situations than I normally perceive myself to be able to do, so I don't know why I psyche myself out like this: I guess because it's a lot easier to do. I'm apprehensive because of my lack of money, but I'm not alone in that; lack of people I know, but I've already made a couple new friends; lack of preparation, but who's ever prepared to leave everything they've been influenced by since birth to be in a place completely different?
I don't expect to come back being a completely different person with, say, new life goals or anything. I just hope to come back with a little bit more than I left with, and maybe more of an idea for what I want to do with the rest of my life.
You can do this. Maybe you'll change a little or maybe you'll change a lot, but whether you know people or not, you're a fun person and London is a very historical place. Who knows, perhaps you'll find career inspiration while abroad. I'm with you - this is so terrifying! - but at the same time, this is exciting. It's a chance to just leap out and take part in the life we will have to face in May anyway. Yes, we're got financial fears and lonely fears, but at least we've got each other, no?
ReplyDelete